


Goblin Week 2019

by SuzieBoozieBlack



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Magic: The Gathering
Genre: Character Development, Developing Relationship, Other, Zendikar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-13 23:55:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17497745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuzieBoozieBlack/pseuds/SuzieBoozieBlack
Summary: This is for one of my friends and party members in one of our D&D games. She's playing a goblin, and since it's goblin week, I figured I would post it for her. This tells the story of how my character (Titania) and her character (Amsnail) met.





	1. Rescue Ranger

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Miss_blue664](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_blue664/gifts).



It was a roil, no doubt about it. The earth beneath Titania's feet groaned and moved unnaturally as great shards of earth erupted around her. The roil was doing its damnedest to try and kill her, but Titania was more dexterous than that, even with an injured goblin in her arms.

"Hang on friend," she whispered to the unconscious goblin as they escaped the cave and the roil began to subside. The cave entrance, however, had taken too much damage from the roil and collapsed with great gusto as Titania leaned against a nearby tree to catch her breath. "Okay friend," she said to the goblin, checking it's breathing, "let's make a pact to never do that again." It was still alive, but barely.

Using her bed roll as a pillow, Titania propped up the goblin's head and gently poured her last healing potion down the goblin's throat. Titania listened as its breath steadied and its heartbeat returned to a normal pace. Taking stock of their current surroundings, she made camp underneath the trunk of a once mighty tree that was now shattered by two large earthen spikes. It wasn't the best camp she had set, but it would do for the night.

After a roil was the most exciting time to be out in the wilds of Zendikar. With the great upheavals that came along naturally with the roils, also brought the exciting promise of undiscovered ruins. For Titania, this meant more monstrosities to study and expeditions that she could tag a long with. Expeditions meant people paying top dollar for her services, a thought that made Titania almost giddy. She needed a new bow and new swords, perhaps someone to professionally clean her armor.

Beside her, the goblin exhaled painfully, it's chest rattling as it almost struggled to breath. It was so skinny and small, and she could see the healing potion slowly mending it's comparatively frail body.

"Oh T," she sighed to herself, grabbing her bow and foraging gear, "you can't just adopt a goblin." She left the campsite and headed into the mangled woods. "That'd be silly. The goblin will want to go back with it's goblin family, and live out its little goblin life with all of it's goblin friends." She ducked underneath one half fallen tree and leaped over another. "Just heal the damn thing, and go back to being alone like usual."

 

Morning came, and the goblin was still not awake. It was still breathing, and was able to swallow some of the broth from the stew Titania had made. Titania checked it's pulse and body temperature.

"Why the fuck am I doing this?" she asked after a few seconds. "I'm not a healer." Standing up, she paced the camp anxiously, pondering what to do next. The closest town was less than a day's trek, if not made worse by the roil and was hopefully still standing. The healers there could help.

Titania packed up her camp, and gently cradled the goblin in her arms. The destruction of the roil made the trek significantly harder than it had to be, as Titania was now limited to walking, but Titania was persistent if nothing else. It was night when they arrived at the village, and the local healer took them both in.

"Exotics cost extra." She said, standing in the door way and nodding towards the still unconscious goblin. Titania almost passed out from attempting to not roll her eyes.

"Fine," she snapped, "just…take care of it." Titania attempted to hoist the goblin towards her, but the healer backed away.

"Oh no," she said, "you're not leaving it alone here."

"Then get out of the door way!" She half yelled at her.

 

Titania did not sleep that night. Calling the goblin "exotic" did not endear the healer to her, and she kept a close watch on her. The healer did not seem to be in any particular rush to help the goblin, and halfheartedly wrapped the bandages around it's frail body, and carelessly poured healing potions down it's throat.

"The goblin should be back up to speed, or whatever, by the morning." The healer stuck out her hand for payment. "Fifty gold." Titania reached in her bag and carefully counted out the payment. "That's only thirty five." the healer pointed out.

"You can re-wrap the bandages for an additional five." Titania said pointedly. "For the other ten, you can try treating it like any other patient." Titania gestured to the empty room. "Which it appears you don't have any, so that's awkward."

A look of anger and embarrassment crossed the healers face. Titania pretended to listen as she ranted at her for a long while. At some point, she lost interest in the healer's rant, collected her bag from the floor and the sleeping goblin from the bed.

"Where are you going?" The healer shrieked at her as Titania opened the door to leave. "You haven't paid me!" The lone town guard that was walking by perked up at the idea of trouble.

"I paid you for the job that you did." Titania told her. "Just because it was a half-assed job isn't my problem, it's yours." She caught sight of the guard and tipped her head in acknowledgement of his presence. "Evening sir." She greeted him calmly. "Can you point me towards the nearest inn?"


	2. Ed-you-muh-cat-ion

The sound of claws against hardwood was enough to wake Titania, cautiously opening one eye to see the goblin was awake. She breathed a small sigh of relief, then realized it was rummaging through her bag and muttering.

"Can you not?" Titania asked loudly. The goblin froze and slowly turned to face her, it's eyes wide and cheeks puffed out like it was in the middle of eating something. "Spit it out." She ordered it firmly. The goblin didn't move. "C'mon, spit it out." Reluctantly, the goblin opened it's mouth and slowly dropped a sizable rock that was in her bag on to the floor.

<Common?> Titania asked the goblin in its native tongue. The goblin's eyes went wide in response, then narrowed with suspicion. <Speak Common?> she asked it again. The goblin did not move, its eyes darting around the room, attempting to evaluate its best chance for escape. <No hurt!> She assured it, sitting up slowly and showing that she was unarmed. <Friend!>The creature's eyes narrowed at her in suspicion.

<human?> the goblin pointed out, curiously approaching her. <human not goblin? how speak?> The goblin hopped up on her bed and grabbed her hand, inspecting it for itself.

<I learn?> Titania said as the goblin grabbed her other hand and examined it.

<not goblin> It declared, satisfied with it's examination. <name.>

"Titania." The creatures eyes narrowed at her. "Tie-tay-nee-uh." she said slowly, making sure to enunciate clearly and show the full movement of her mouth and tongue. Goblin was a hard language, with most sounds coming from the back of the throat. <Your name?>

<amsnail.> it declared proudly. "Tie-tay-nee-uh <save amsnail. amsnail owe debt.>

"No no no nononono." she said quickly. <No owe debt.> There wasn't a goblin phrase that equated to "You're Welcome." <Don't think about it?> was the closest she could think of.

<amsnail owe debt.> Amsnail repeated. "Tie-tay-nee-uh <save amsnail life. amsnail stay until debt paid.>"

<How long?> Amsnail shrugged.

<Think it forever?> Amsnsnail said.

 

Trekking back to the cave, Titania and Amsnail made their way through the rubble of the cave to find the spot where Titania first found the unconscious goblin. Amsnail collected what remained of their explorer's pack from the cave. She listened to their mutterings as they gathered what could be salvaged.

<Done?> Titania asked, listening to the sound of goblin claws against the rocks.

<done.> Amsnail said, popping out from a small crevasse and pulling their pack behind them. <not much left.>

<We can get other things.> Titania told them. "New <things>." Amsnail gave her a confused look. Shit, goblins didn't really have much use for new things did they? That's why the didn't have a word for it.

"nuuo?" they repeated. Shit, what was the best way to explain this?

 

Weeks had passed since Titania had first found Amsnail, and in a way it was nice having an extra set of hands around. Amsnail was small enough to fit in places Titania couldn't, and Titania was strong enough to carry the extra loot they found. Amsnail's grasp on common was growing, as was her grasp on the customs of the world beyond the caves.

"titania what dis?" Amsnail asked as they walked back to the entrance of the cave, pulling a gold wine goblet out from her bag and showing it to her.

"Drinking cup." Titania said. Amsnail moved to toss it aside. "Nonononono!" She said, plucking it out of her hand. "We keep this."

"keep?" Amsnail asked confusedly. "it cup? we no need cups."

"Valuable cup though." Titania explained. "Covered in gold, very shiny. Fancy people like." Titania handed the cup back to Amsnail and let them examine the cup.

"Humans drink from this?"

"Some humans do." She  explained. "And some Kor, and Elves, and Merfolk." Amsnail licked the cup. "Why?" She demanded. "Why are you like this?"

"it have flavor." Amsnail explained, putting the cup back into her bag. "it not a good flavor, but it have flavor."

"We don't eat the cups, we drink from them." Titania reminded her.

"cup changes flavor of liquid, it no good for drinking." Amsnail argued.

"We can still sell the cup! Stop licking it!" Amsnail groaned loudly and annoyedly.

"fiiiine!" Amsnail agreed. "no lick cup." Amsnail put the cup away and pulled out another item. "how about dis? what dis?"

"That's a skull, we don't need that." Amsnail chucked the skull behind them, ignoring it as it smashed against the stone floor.

It was a process, but they were working on it.


	3. Edibles

Six months had passed. Food was still a struggle between the two of them when they were out traveling. It was even worse when they were in a group. Titania and Amsnail worked well together, and at meal time it was a good chance for Amsnail to observe the customs of the topsiders (her words) closely.

The current expedition, however, was a challenge. Broken promises, oppressive working conditions, and unbearable expedition members were wearing down both Amsnail and Titania's patience. The third night in was the final straw; someone decided it would be funny to put Amsnail in charge of the dinner for the evening. It was less funny when the dinner they made was literal stone soup, leaving the camp to go hungry. No one else was about to eat the flavorless dirt broth. Amsnail was chewed out for the "mistake", and Titania sat with them in their tent.

"me asked to make soup, so me made soup. it stones and soup. stone soup! hint in the name!" Amsnail angrily explained to Titania in their tent. "how they not like?"

"You know most of us can't digest rocks right?" Titania said as Amsnail angrily sat down on their bed roll.

"stones at bottom of soup!" Amsnail ranted. "they don't need to eat! stones give flavor to water!" Titania noticed that the perpetrator of the prank was walking by their tent, and Amsnail glaring at them.

"I'll be right back." Titania told Amsnail with a smile as she stepped out of the tent. "Hey asshole!" Titania yelled after the human. He turned around to face her with a shit eating grin.

"Oh hey monster fucker." he said casually. "Did you enjoy dinn-" Titania punched him square in his jaw, then grabbed him by the collar and pushed him into a nearby tree.

"You pull this shit one more fucking time, and I will personally pin you to a tree, cut your dick off, and bait the largest thing I can think of in the area to come and eat you." she snarled, listening to the sound of several other party members rush up behind her and pull her away.

"Alright, alright cool it!" The expedition head yelled, stepping between the two of them.  
"You don't get to treat them like shit just because you don't understand them!" Titania continued to rage at the prankster.

"You think it's human?" the prankster demanded. "It barely knows what food is!"

"ENOUGH!" The expedition leader roared, stepping between the pair. "You don't get to attack my boys!" he thundered at Titania. "You just cost yourself half of your pay!"

"You've treated us like shit this whole time!" She screamed at him. "You _begged_ me to come because no one else would take the job because of **_your shitty ass reputation_**!" the whole camp went silent as Titania's voice echoed in the woods around them, and Titania was released. "I'm done," she declared,  "done with you, done with this shitty pay, this entire shitty company, and this whole garbage fire of an expedition." Titania shoved two of the company men out of her way as she went back to the tent she shared with Amsnail. The small goblin was already waiting outside, both of their bags haphazardly packed but ready to leave. "Find your own way through the forests since your boys are so good at it, you utter shit bag of a human being."

As the pair walked into the darkness beyond the forest, they were quiet. When the light of the campfires faded, Amsnail spoke.

"we go sabotage them?"

"What did you have in mind?" Amsnail held up a flask with a crimson liquid that shimmered with gold in the moonlight.

"it go boom." Titania pondered it.

"No, I want them to suffer." Amsnail rummaged through their bag and pulled out another flask with a dark, viscous liquid inside.

"dis one make them slippy slidey all over the place." Titania looked back over her shoulder at the dying campfire. Their night shift guards were shit, the two of them could slip in and be out before anyone noticed.

"How many more of those do you have?" Amsnail shoved the one flask towards Titania, and pulled out four more.

"me may have been, uh, <planning> dis for a couple of days."


End file.
